


war and love;;

by kakashika



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Platonic Soulmates, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 14:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28637256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kakashika/pseuds/kakashika
Summary: there was an infinite possibility of the words that could appear in kakashi; but he never cared about such thing. that is, until he met you.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Yamato | Tenzou, Hatake Kakashi & You, Hatake Kakashi/Reader, Hatake Kakashi/You, Hyuuga Hinata/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	war and love;;

**NO ONE** could change their destiny.

Not all soulmates were reciprocal. Of course, in a perfect world, the soulmate of one was also the soulmate of the other, but the reality is not always a fairy tale and, as such, not all soulmates were reciprocal –and one person only knew their destiny when it was too late.

For years, people would wake up with words tattooed on their wrists, simple words that summed up their love life with their true love. There were the more fortunate ones who woke up with little “ _accomplished_ ” or “ _happily ever after_ ” on their wrist after the wedding; there were also those who had little “ _so close_ ” or “ _don't try again_ ” written on their wrists on the coldest nights; and, of course, there were also those who read painful “ _it was not destined_ ” or even “ _maybe in the next life_ ” who caused an inexplicable burning in the eyes of those who had such tattoos. There was a little of everything: there were those who liked it, there were those who didn't care about a mere tattoo and there were also those who did everything to force a soulmate into their lives.

The reality is that, and as in all worlds, nobody could change their destiny –because the tattoo was already inscribed on the person from the moment they were born, wanting for the right time to make itself noticed.

But it didn't matter, it didn't matter at all to Kakashi, because he only had in mind to become strong and someone reliable. He didn't want to know about dating or romance –Kakashi just wanted to do his duty as a shinobi. But, of course, as much as he didn't want to know, as much as he showed that he didn't want to know, his father was always attentive to him, always wanting to make him interested in the subject –after all, parents just want the best for their children; which is why Sakumo forced Kakashi to sit next to him on a cold foggy morning, the two of them facing the grey air of the day, both waiting for a little clarity to be felt between them.

“Kakashi, there is beauty in the midst of all this chaos,” Sakumo's voice was lost in the fog, a phrase of pure harmony and delicacy trying to find its way in the thick maze of clouds and trees that invaded their territory. There was a pause, Kakashi not deigning to answer, knowing perfectly well where that conversation would end, knowing perfectly well what awaited him. “The world is not just driven by war.”

“Dad…” Kakashi let a long and monotonous sigh escape from his small lips, muffled by the dark mask, trapped inside the fabric without being able to show the little child's total discontent. “Not again. I have classes in a bit.”

The child stood up carefully and with a little hesitation; Kakashi did not want to leave his father alone, did not want to abandon him once again at the mercy of fairy tales that did nothing more than deceive a person; but Sakumo did not give him another chance, the cheap repetition of stories of princesses and kings became tiring, there was no surprise in his father's speech, there was _no hope_ for Kakashi. So, he was determined to leave his father sooner than expected, his little feet taking short and uncertain steps to get away from his father, to get away from yet another unwanted conversation.

“Kakashi, why do you think there is war?”

Kakashi stopped his step with some suddenness, the simple question of his father echoing so strongly inside Kakashi's head, causing small dizziness in his mind where several and possible answers appeared without any invitation, assaulting the small child's sanity, making him question everything. _Why_ there was war? Of course, the main answer focused on people's inability to communicate with each other, the need to assume and show their egos so disgusting to come in second place; but there was something more, there _had_ to be something more: people didn't _simply_ create wars just because they were bored, _right_?

Throughout his small and short existence, Kakashi lived in a world of war, taught and trained to live and survive amid so much devastation and anguish, his whole existence to be only molded around the very thick and aggressive sphere of what moved the world: _war_. Would he have to know why? He didn't want to know if anyone wanted to conquer the world, whether someone was kidnapped or killed; Kakashi just had a mission to fight the war –only that mattered. Now the reason?

“I don't care to know. Certainly, the origin of all wars has an illogical basis. I have to stop the war. I don't have to know why it started.”

Sakumo smiled and let his son go on his way, watching him slowly being consumed by the thick fog. The older man's lips formed a perfect smile, a smile that left a trail of sadness with him, the knowledge of what would happen that day to prevent Sakumo from really smiling; however, it was not the voices that saddened Sakumo, but the knowledge that his son would never experience the beautiful pleasure of love as Sakumo once did.

Sakumo gently caressed the little “ _there will be more in the next life_ ” that faded due to the passage of time, memories of a short love so intense to haunt him in such a way that Sakumo didn't even notice when the sadness of his lips changed to hope. This had not been the last life with his beloved, and Sakumo knew that; thus, murmuring the answer to the question he himself posed to his son, Sakumo stood up too, knowing that there would be a second chance for his love, knowing that Kakashi would perceive the reality of the world in which they lived.

After all, there has never been a war without love.

* * *

Kakashi had lost everything.

There was nothing left for someone so young. At the age of fourteen, his whole life had collapsed before his own eyes; with no family or friends, no one who could support him, Kakashi had lost everything, including his path in this world. He wandered through the days, lost on the path of life, without any knowledge of maps or without guides who could help him. Kakashi had lost everything, in fact, until he gained a new friendship, a new hope.

You came with the arrival of spring, uncertain and always so encouraging steps, an enormous desire for knowledge to be noticed in the intense brightness of your sweet look. You brought with you the breath of fresh air that prevailed at that time of the year, your feet to encourage so many and so beautiful flowers to bloom, new lives to be created by you, new paths to be drawn by your bare feet; the innocence of not having experienced the evils of the world painted your smile with extra tenderness, the apples of your face sprinkled with the passion that the sun felt for you. But on that spring day, when Kakashi saw you leaning over a hollow log, you carried with you something more than pure curiosity and fun at your fingertips; you brought with you the hope of a new life for Kakashi, a hope that was felt by him when Kakashi, very awkwardly, prevented you from rolling with the trunk to the bottom of the cliff.

And something quickly formed between you. A friendship? Probably. It was difficult to be sure with Kakashi; but, whatever it was that you and he owned, you both knew it was something unique, that it was something true.

A new stage in your lives was discovered in the presence of the other, a vast and so eager wave of feelings beginning to take shape in both. There was complicity between the two of you. Since your first encounter next to that trunk, you and Kakashi shared an enviable complicity, each perceiving the other without having to exchange words, a simple look, a simple sign, to be always enough to be understood by the other. Days were spent together, secrets to be exchanged in the midst of laughter and sighs, a whole life to be told dipped in melancholy, words soaked in an extreme longing for a long-lost past.

And your adolescence has never looked so beautiful in the eyes of others.

Before you know it, you and Kakashi have reached adulthood, your friendship becoming so complicated with all the looks cast and hidden smiles, a trace of desire to be caught in every word exchanged by you. Something more began to emerge beyond that very natural friendship. Something _profound_ began to emerge.

“I don't understand people's admiration for the stars,” you stretched a little when you sat down next to Kakashi, the red blanket you always carried with you to protect you from the tenderness of that autumn night. “It is something that has existed since the beginning of time. There are literally maps and photographs everywhere. Why all the fascination?”

“It's like war.”

The rest of your team rested silently on the floor, wrapped and cozy by a small fire started by you, the tranquility of a successful mission to be noticed by their delicate and constant breaths. You and Kakashi relaxed on one of the several branches of the most colorful and robust tree near your camp, your vision totally wide towards the vast starry sky and the faint skyline painted by the small snow-capped mountains.

There was silence in the camp on the ground and there was silence in the branches of the trees. The breeze had been lifted by the various clouds to venture into unknown paths, giving you a little privacy on that cozy night. The moon was small, gaining strength for a more special date, gradually feeding on the desire of the most melancholy who wrote for it. All the animals in the forest slept close to you, the warmth of the fire that crackled so loudly to convince the most diverse living beings to truly rest that night.

Everyone but you and Kakashi.

“The war?” you couldn’t keep the laughter that formed inside you, a sound so melodious and innocent that it woke nature for a brief moment: the breeze returned to you only to carry the sound so pure that you let go, keeping in between the several clouds and stars the memory of your question and laughter so innocent. “How does the fascination of stars compare to the war?”

“Humans cannot live without them.” Kakashi was leaning against the trunk to read one of his typical books, none of his words to be denoted by the slightest interest, his uncovered eye carefully reading each line of the book while waiting for an answer from you, for your stimulation of that conversation.

“My dear Kakashi, I live well without both. Does that make me not a human?”

Kakashi let a long and amusing sigh come loose from his lips and get caught in the echo of a new laugh from you. By closing the book and adopting a more favorable posture to a conversation, Kakashi let his movements extend over time, the crackling fire so calmly accompanying your team captain's gestures, your eyes always stuck in him in the vain hope of encouraging him to speak or, at the very least, to hurry up. But it is Kakashi that we are talking about and, as such, there was no rush in his movements, all the time that it took him to sit next to you and to face the stars to seem like an eternity spent by you.

However, in the end, Kakashi spoke.

“Of course you live well without both. But would you be complete if none of them existed?”

“Are you implying that we, _humans_ , need to have stars and wars to be complete?”

It seemed like an outrage. What Kakashi had just hinted seemed to be wrapped in a thick layer of blasphemy and misery, the indignation to be reflected in your gaze on the various dead leaves that embellished Kakashi. What was once a peaceful setting, has now become a stage for spectacles for nature, strong winds and thick clouds making their presence in the hope of continuing to hear Kakashi's thoughts, some and so little nocturnal birds to greet you timidly with sweet and tender melodies that spread through the sleeping forest.

“It's what moves us.”

“I’m sorry,” you let out a fake laugh as you composed yourself on the branch of the tree, now turning and looking at Kakashi, curiosity caught in your eyes, a longing to prolong that conversation to be noticed in the way you, so firmly and enthusiastically, pronounced your words. “but I still don't follow you.”

“Okay, let's go easy.”

“Please.”

Kakashi let out a small, almost inaudible laugh at your tender plea, his eyes now resting on your curious posture, your arms adjusting the red blanket to also shelter Kakashi on that cold night.

“The stars, yes? We all know that since ancient times they are the cause of all happiness and pain for people. People of ancient civilizations worshiped the stars as if they were gods. The people of ancient civilizations used the stars and their positions for agriculture. Are you following?”

“Yes, professor,” you let out another laugh when you put your legs over Kakashi's legs and gently slid closer to him. The night was getting cold, the fire was on the floor and all you had was a red blanket and Kakashi. And how he thanked all the gods for wearing a mask and for the moon to be lazy that night, because the pink tone that he quickly adopted when he felt you so close to him only denounced how much he hoped for that gesture of yours.

“Okay,” it followed a brief moment of silence after Kakashi's statement, your captain's reasoning to be lost with your act so innocent and repeated so many times –however, and as in all times, Kakashi simply lost any coordination, the feeling of being so close to you to be fantastic, almost magical. There followed a brief moment of silence, while Kakashi tried to find the thread of his thought, while he tried to grab it without losing the feeling of being so close to you.

“Okay,” he repeated again, his looks always relaxed and carefree, the mask being the perfect hiding place for his pink face. “People have adopted these little habits from their ancestors, which is why there are so many people who still admire the stars. Of course, all romantics are also enchanted by them.”

“And why’s that?”

Pause.

Silence.

Contemplation.

Why? In fact, that was always the question you asked, that was always the question that made sense to ask. Why? In fact, _why_? Kakashi stared at the stars, trying to understand why; you stared at Kakashi, hoping he would answer why. But an answer never came. An answer never gave the appearance of it grace and embellished your ears with sweet justifications and immaculate logic, because, realizing that there was really no definite reason for that explanation, Kakashi continued his reasoning.

Your captain's voice was dragged and always monotonous, stuck in a timbre that had been conquered for so long, in a timbre that always conveyed a vast sense of comfort. And you listened carefully to every word spoken by Kakashi, you listened carefully to everything he had to say, striving to follow his thoughts.

“Now the war,” Kakashi paused and took a deep breath, a sigh that seemed to be weary escaping without him noticing, the memories of conversations with his father making themselves felt in that moment, in that precise instant. “War has always existed. Since the beginning of humanity, there has been war. Without war, there are no humans. It is in our condition as human beings, it is our _need_. As much as we want, none of us can live in peace. This is why we fight for our ideals, that's why there are so many differences in people's mentalities. We need war to move. Without it, what would become of us? That's why there's fascination in it, that's why there's so much admiration. War is the stars of the most political. And the stars are the wars of the most romantic.”

“So love is the war of the most philosophical.”

Kakashi looked at you with confusion expressed in his eye, the various and infinite stars reflected in his look showing that, in fact, Kakashi had not understood the use of your words. Why did you decide to grab the love out of nowhere? Why did you decide to bring that taboo into the middle of such a special conversation? _Why_?

And you noticed the confusion at the lack of reaction in him, you realized that there should be doubt in your captain's thinking; looking at Kakashi it was easy to decipher the confusion he felt and you were intrigued, even fascinated.

“Do you really think it's just the war that moves the world?”

Kakashi opened his mouth but you didn't see. Kakashi closed his mouth again and you didn't even notice. In your captain's mind, that last conversation he had had with his father was endlessly repeating, Sakumo's words coming up whenever that dangerous topic was addressed, Sakumo's cheap philosophies tormenting Kakashi until that day. But it was not always like that. _No_. From the moment Kakashi met you, Sakumo's haunts finally subsided, there was no need to understand love, because, quite simply (and even though Kakashi didn't know it), he was experiencing that feeling so strong, so true. There was no need to recall a conversation that was trying to explain something, when someone was experiencing that something. Therefore, for several years, Sakumo's words that were soaked in understanding and affection had been forgotten, completely erased from Kakashi's memory. No. _Wrong_. They were still guarded, safe within his heart and it only took your question, your question so similar to his father's, to free them and torment Kakashi again.

“So?” you laughed. Certainly, Kakashi knew there was something more than war; surely he knew that not everything was destruction or contempt in this world. Kakashi _had_ to know. He had to know that there was beauty and hope. He had to know that there was something good in this world. _Right_?

“Love?” the word burned in Kakashi's mouth, his melancholy eye caught in your eyes, the reflection of the universe caught in your figures.

“Love,” your answer came with a genuine and open smile, your eyes denoting a slight and so faint sadness, a hope that threatens to collapse at any moment.

You spoke like love itself: gently and lightly, your lips to utter that word with precision and extreme ease; you spoke like love itself: your smile was genuine and embellished by the infinite stars, painted by the cool night breeze, your eyes sad, frightened and fearing the drastic change of an event, of a feeling; you spoke like love itself: you spoke in a mixture of emotions that were strange to Kakashi, a thick ball of feelings and memories stuck in your expression to be so confused for Kakashi.

You spoke like love itself, but Kakashi spoke like the war itself. Kakashi spoke like the war itself: without any feeling, afraid of what his lips might say, frightened by the force of the word itself; Kakashi spoke like the war itself: every word and thought of him to be fully calculated by Kakashi, no mistake to be made by him, the doubt that escaped his lips to bring a little wisdom; Kakashi spoke like the war itself, he spoke knowing perfectly what was waiting for him, he spoke knowing perfectly the answer to his question.

And between the war and love there was a moment of silence, a moment of tranquility brought by the infinite stars. Between the war and love there was a moment of serenity that was only heard by your careful breaths, your eyes locked on each other, your smile slowly fading over time. _Love_. Was that the answer to his father's question? No, it couldn't be as simple as that. But, truth be told, there was no simplicity about love.

“Love,” Kakashi repeated your statement, a fragile line running away from his mask, taking the ardor of that word with him. There was something comforting in your eyes, something soothing in the way you kept the blanket attached to you; there was something serene about the way your legs rested on Kakashi's legs, something welcoming about the way you and he stayed together under that starry sky. “Love.”

And Kakashi never found it so easy to pronounce that word.

* * *

Days without you were boring. Everyone knew that when you were on a mission without belonging to Kakashi's team, he roamed the streets of the village as he did before he met you. Everyone knew that, for Kakashi, days without you just didn't make sense, not when you and he had already become fully accustomed to the other's presence. And that day was not much different from the others.

Kakashi paced the streets with ease, his feet shuffling without any energy, one hand sheltered in his pants pocket, the other holding a book close to his face; Kakashi paid no attention to what he read or where he was walking: having read and reread that book so many times, having already walked the streets countless times, Kakashi did not need to pay attention. And he was really grateful for that.

Your mission was complicated and you left with a good team, really, but Kakashi couldn't trust them, not when your integrity could be in danger. So, Kakashi could only care about you, a melancholy trail to be left by Kakashi's short, relaxed steps. His eyes read and reread the same page over and over while his mind wandered to so many and possible scenarios that could happen to you. How he hated being away from you at such a frightening moment… not that he didn't believe you couldn’t take care of yourself –that is, he had been your captain enough times to know that you could take care of yourself. This was not what scared Kakashi. What scared Kakashi was the possibility of a distraction from you, an ambush from them, a misfortune in the universe. And he just knew that he couldn't take the news from being so far away from you. He had to be with you.

But regardless of whether or not you made it home safely, Kakashi spent his days monotonously without you beside him. Even though Guy continued to make his occasional appearances, enticing Kakashi into pointless duels, even though Naruto and Sakura managed to fill a little bit of the void he felt without you, the reality is that Kakashi just couldn't live every day in your absence. Not since that night under the starry sky. Not when the confession of love came out disguised in a new and somewhat shaky pronunciation. So Kakashi could only wander around the village without your company, hoping that every day would be shorter than the last, waiting peacefully until you arrived.

“Today I received my words!” Naruto was always so loud. Kakashi gently looked up from his notebook as he watched Naruto talking energetically with Yamato and Sakura, his student's so contagious smile making Kakashi himself smile slightly. “Hinata is really my soulmate!”

“I received mine during the war. It was Ino who noticed,” Sakura laughed a little as she remembered her chaotic reaction when she found out that Sasuke was, in fact, the man the universe had intended for her. “And you, Captain Yamato?”

“Still nothing,” a small sigh came from his lips, dragging with it the hope of a soulmate and Naruto just laughed as he saw Sakura trying to comfort the older one. “But what about you, Kakashi-senpai?”

“I don't notice that kind of stuff” a shrug was enough to direct the conversation back to Yamato, all of his students' lines being obstructed with the thought that, perhaps, he had already received the words.

Yes, in fact, Kakashi avoided looking at his wrist. Since that night, the mere thought of love scared him. In the past, Kakashi simply didn't care about something as trivial as love, the mere thought of such a feeling bringing only haunts of long and uninteresting conversations with his father. But now, after that night, there was fear in the feeling, there was an extra fear that burned Kakashi's heart when he allowed himself to think of something as dangerous as love. Since that night, the mere thought of love scared Kakashi, because, quite simply, Kakashi couldn't imagine that word without imagining you. And Kakashi blamed you. You were the bearer of Kakashi's destruction; after all, since that night, Kakashi really started to see the world in a different way. And he blamed you, he blamed that word, he blamed all the stars.

But, had any marks already been engraved on his wrist?

Leaving his friends' conversations and laughter behind, Kakashi returned home quickly, a single goal stuck in his mind, a single need to run through his heart, a single feeling to move Kakashi: _love_.

The four walls of his room never looked so welcoming as they did then. It was the end of the day, the last rays of sunlight being lost in Kakashi's room, shades of gold and hope burning fiercely the three frames that landed delicately on Kakashi's little furniture, your face and Kakashi's to be adorned with light heavenly tones from the last ray of sunshine. And night fell in such a hurry that it never gave the sun a chance to heat Kakashi's room. It was cold, the moon so high and bright contrasting with the weakness of that night, the stars taking the night off to give time to the many and so diverse clouds to shine. There was darkness and it was cold. And, in the midst of so much discomfort, Kakashi searched his wrists for a little heat.

The right wrist had nothing, Kakashi's skin so pale it brought him a little disappointment. But there was still a second chance. And, cautiously removing his left glove, Kakashi saw a single word shine in the moonlight.

“ _Almost_ ”

Almost?

His mouth opened slightly on impulse as his eyes read and reread the word that was stuck in his wrist over and over again. How long had it been there? How long ago had fate decided to steal you from him? _Almost_? Why almost? Hadn't his confession that night been enough for you? Was it not the vulnerability with which he uttered and repeated that word so forbidden _enough_ for you? Almost? _Why_? Had he done anything? Had he done nothing?

A wave of corruption completely washed away any hope that Kakashi might have, the curiosity that once moved Kakashi's gestures to be completely replaced by regret.

Could he go back? Could he do anything to change that word? Surely if you arrived and he confessed everything he wanted and felt for you that you, _perhaps_ , would return his words. No, it wasn't perhaps. Kakashi _was sure_ that there would be reciprocity. That night left no doubt. The way you two spoke, the way you looked at each other, the way you pronounced the forbidden word. Yes, for sure there was still a little hope, even if it is small; and Kakashi knew it, for years of war had taught Kakashi that hope would always be the last to die. Surely the same applies to love, right? I mean, you said it yourself that _love is the war of the most philosophical_. So, _yes_. Hope. It wasn't ‘almost’ the word that Kakashi had decided to dictate his fate. No. It was _hope_.

And, clinging to that little flame of hope that had kindled quickly in Kakashi's heart, he watched the remaining days go by with slowness and nostalgia. Kakashi just wanted you to come back as soon as possible. Kakashi just wanted to deceive fate once and for all and grab the happiness that had been so much deprived of him. Was that too much to ask?

Almost. Pathetic. Almost. Of course it wasn't almost, Kakashi would never allow it to be almost.

So, when you arrived, Kakashi carried the war with him; he was determined to change his destiny, although he was afraid. There was determination in his steps, Kakashi's eyes so empty to convey a little uncertainty, fear, regret in the actions he should have done. So much time waiting for you just gave Kakashi permission to think, to ponder and all the opportunities that were missed by him, for fear of a confession with decent words, had just been listed in Kakashi's mind. The ‘almost’ was right. Years had passed, Kakashi should have known better. He had read so many books on the subject, he should have known better. It was not enough to just say a complicated word; it was not enough to just feel such a complex feeling: Kakashi had to show it. And he _never_ showed it.

But Kakashi was determined to change that. Kakashi was determined to change his destiny.

And, like the war, Kakashi came to you without any warning. Like war, Kakashi caught you unnoticed in a spontaneous hug of longing and nostalgia. It was rare for Kakashi to express so much love, but you couldn't deny that it was something that always made you smile. You hugged Kakashi back, your arms fitting perfectly into his body, the way his strong arms tightened in a comforting embrace to make you more relaxed. Although you arrived in the village two days ago, it was at that very moment that you really felt at home.

“How did the mission go?”

That was not the question Kakashi wanted to ask, it was not what he had rehearsed. But you began an extensive and long monologue about all the ups and downs of that mission that lasted almost two weeks, a roller coaster of emotions to be reported by you while he listened attentively to every word out of your mouth. And while he listened to you, he looked closely at your arms. Kakashi's empty eyes searched for tattoos made by the stars, curiosity to know your own destiny to move Kakashi's eyes around your body. Until he finally saw it.

“ _That was close._ ”

That was close? What absurd words had the destiny given to you? It didn't make sense. It was close… you didn't stay with Kakashi? It was close… you fell in love with someone else? What did those words mean? What sense did they have in a wide sea of possibilities?

“And I got my tattoo on my way here,” you extended your arm and gave Kakashi permission to read your tattoo better. _That was close_. “I was confused by what it meant. But it made sense when I was reunited with…”

“With _him_?”

 _Him_. Kakashi knew who you were talking about. You didn't have to confess names or draw pictures with your words. Kakashi always knew who you were talking about, because you loved _him_ before you met Kakashi and you loved _him_ during the first days of your friendship with Kakashi.

“Yes,” the smile you let out reminded Kakashi of love: shy and so happy, a hint of accomplishment exposed in the beautiful curves of your lips, a feeling of comfort stuck in your confession. _Love_. Damn you. “He accompanied us to the village and is staying here. Today we are going to have our first date!”

And that's when Kakashi realized it.

_No one could change their destiny._

With a fake smile and forced curiosity, Kakashi allowed you to put long and so painful splinters in his heart, erasing any hope that remained, completely staining the forbidden word for Kakashi. With a fake smile and tears stuck in his eyes, Kakashi allowed your happiness to flood Kakashi's darkness, little stars of your joy to paint Kakashi's pain faintly. Because he, despite everything, was happy. Although he was happier with you, _Kakashi was happy for you_.

You were overflowing with love, an extreme happiness wrapped in a coat of euphoria to gently fill your room; your eyes shone with the emotion of a love about to be lived, your smile so wide to be contagious, even though Kakashi didn't want to smile. You were the embodiment of love. You were hope and comfort from the first day he met you and he hated you for it; Kakashi hated you because he knew he would never be able to find someone who had as much impact as you, someone who made the word love mean as much as you did. It was the way you spoke so happily about the other; it was the way you still cared about Kakashi as if you still liked him. You were kindness and simplicity hidden behind a strong sphere of complexity. You were, in fact, _love_.

And _that_ night's conversation never made more sense than it did then. For in the realization of Kakashi, in the midst of all the suffering provided by you, you continued to move Kakashi. The way you still made Kakashi look forward to seeing you, the way your company was, and always would be, crucial to Kakashi; the way he still loved you after so much anguish caused by you. Because you were always the personification of the word love and, like the feeling itself, you were the one who moved Kakashi's world.

* * *

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find this story on my tumblr (sam-writs)  
> this was one request that i loved doing and i want to share my baby with everyone tbh cuz, for the first time in a while, i'm actually proud of my work. thank you for reading <3


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